Living your best life are you Gloria? I see you there on social media, carefully editing your life to make everyone believe you are loving every minute. There are definitely more good times than bad in parenting. But the really good times can be fleeting. Where does all your time go??
Whilst picking dried on crusty cherios from the floor under my kitchen table I wondered if this was really me living the dream. Here’s the reality and where the majority of my time is now wasted – and probably yours too!
1. You will spend 50% of your morning removing underwear from inside trousers before putting in the washing machine – the other 50% is removing pants from trousers before hanging them up when you have missed them going into the machine.
2. You will make a lot of snacks. A lot. Toddler getting down from the breakfast table – ‘can I have a snack now?’
3. Putting children to bed. A toddler upon going to bed soon discovers that they are:
a) more thirty than a horse that’s travelled for three days in a baking desert
b) not tired anymore
c) beome a philosophy expert and will riddle your poor brain with questions about the meaning of life
d) will almost certainly need 3 pees and a poo as soon as you tuck them in
4. Making cups of tea that you never find in time to drink whilst hot – or else you will put them down somewhere out of the kids reach and find them three days later.
5. Daydreaming. You will dream about your pre-children days and wonder why the hell you didn’t appreciate the fact that you could have just got up and gone out whenever you wanted.
6. More time will be spent deciding where to go for a day trip and packing the car for said trip than is spent actually on the trip itself.
7. Dishes. How can tiny humans make so many dishes. Include washing/Ironing/Cleaning in this category! Housework sucks and will now rule your days off.
8. Complaining about how tired you are to other equally tired parents. Perhaps even attempting to top trump other parents. ‘Oh, you’re tired that’s a shame. I was up three times last night because my 4yo thought a bear was licking his window and wanted me to get rid of it’
9. Nagging. Your kids, your husband. They all get the moaning. Why are the bins not emptied? Why is it only me that bothered to make dinner? Morning time is a particular nag-tastic time. ‘Put your shoes on, please’ ten minutes later … ‘Put your shoes on now’ until … ‘Will you just put on your goddam shoes!’ For ever and ever.
10. Trying to remember things. I spend so much of my time walking into a room and wondering what I needed. I have walked around the entire house with a pair of dirty socks in my hand that needed to be put in the washing machine!
Do you agree? What else do you spend a ridiculous amount of time doing? I can’t begin to imagine what the hell it felt like to just have time. Time to eat breakfast in peace, time to have a pee and not feel rushed. And when was the last time you sat and did your hair without thinking about what else needed done!