Do we need to scrap the word ‘feminism’?

When someone asks me if I’m a feminist it should be a an easy answer, but I find that it’s not. How many of you would hold your hands up to being a feminist today?

Defined as being ‘for social, political and economic equality‘ according to Google, then it’s a no-brainer that I am indeed in agreement and fully supportive of all of this. It’s the word and the meaning behind it lately that I can’t get on board with.

Feminism is being seen as ‘anti-male’ and it’s easy to see why. The word is bandied about at every turn. It seems to be a growing ideology, focusing solely on womens issues not considering the bigger picture and largely places the blame on men. There is a lot of man hate out there that I cannot get onboard with. We can’t keep blaming one group for the actions of some of their members in the past.

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People are quick to point out womens rights have challenged and moved forward on many issues and I wholeheartedly agree that without some strong women campaigning, then it would be harder for any women today to be standing where they are.

But today feminism has moved from trying to help and push for new equal rights laws, into trying to bully people into changing their personal feelings.

We are constantly seeing in the media, women in a position of privilege and power telling us that we should celebrate womenhood, does this not defeat the purpose of equality and reinforce stereotypes? In the same paragraph can be seen negative views on men in their field of work, does this not hinder the process?

Equal recognition for equal work is the battle cry, and this is something I can get behind. In my job I expect a lot from the people I work with. I hate people not pulling their weight, if I am giving my all I expect the same in return. Yet for all the will in the world it is the women who will be the ones with the most amount of sick days for family emergencies -yes, there are men out there who take on more of a role at home, but in general if the kids are ill it’s mum who is going to stay with them. It’s not because it’s expected. It’s because she wants to and the kids want them to. Women are being made to feel guilt for this. Can you be a feminist if you want to stay at home? Can you be a feminist if you like to be looked after by your husband and want to keep a nice home for the family? The fact that many women have to balance childcare, a home and a job shouldn’t be a feminist issue – unless they are doing it because they feel they have to. I don’t think people should be penalised for thinking that women and men are made differently. Where does this leave equality? You can’t expect someone to treat you equally, when all things considered they quite frankly aren’t.

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There is also the radical side to feminism where they spend more time campaigning and complainimg and not enough time finding out what women actually want. They want everyone to become non-binary, to remove gender altogether making us homogenous. They make maves everytime an advertising campaign doesn’t fit their new mold for inclusion. But who gets to make these rules? I try not to be swayed by the radicals as with any movement there will be fractions that’s sole purpose is to court controversy. So I think they should be ignored.

This is why I came to the conclusion that after all, I am a feminist. I think if we are doing a job we shoud be treated equally. We should all have equal opportunities. I bring my kids up believeing that they can do whatever they want to do without gender bias. I do believe there are differences between the genders, but instead of that being a hindrence it should be celebrated. We should feel free to embrace whoever we are. You can be a girly girl who loves fluffy pink unicorns and still believe in equality, stereotypes only get in the way. I have realised I just don’t like the word feminism and it’s recent connotations.

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What even is a feminist?

What’s your take? If you were asked if you were a feminist what woud you say?

As always I love to hear from you!

Pam xxx

Mum Muddling Through

 

11 comments

  1. I am definitely a feminist, a stay at home one, who actually rather hates having to be looked after by her husband, but does so because it works for our family and our children. Always lots of debate around feminism but essentially I believe it’s about equality and choices.
    Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I completely agree with you. I get so confused whenever I get asked this question. Feminism the way it’s portrayed in the media isn’t feminism if that makes any sense at all! Great post !

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! Wasnt sure if my point would come across. I love feminism – but not the radicalised version that can be seen playing out. Never put one group down to raise up another! Thanks so muh for reading x

      Like

  3. I am in total agreement. If you ask me if I’m for equality in opportunities and pay then of course I would say yes. But I know what you mean about ‘blaming men’, through history men oppressed women and there are still men out there with the same thinking but in general men and women both have a lot to offer, we all have strengths and weaknesses regardless of what sex we are. Blaming another group of people is never going to be a winning move in my eyes x
    #coolmumclub

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  4. I’m a feminist and proud to be one. For me, feminism means being able to do whatever you damn well want to in life without feeling guilt or being judged. And without a disproportionate burden placed on you because of your gender (if you’re a female feminist). So get married, stay at home, take your husband’s name when you get married. But if you believe in gender equality, choice, in women having a voice in society and politics and being safe from oppression and violence, then you are a feminist. Let’s, as women, continue to build each other up, whatever our choices. There’s nothing wrong with the word and nobody has given it a bad name. We just need to claim it, to own it and to celebrate it. We’ve earned it!

    I love this article on how feminism isn’t a cage, it’s a safety net: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/a15958661/modern-feminism-safety-net/

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  5. Lots to think about here. I read a blog post a few months ago that was totally man-bashing in the name of feminism, and I made the point that you make here – these injustices are in the past and we are blaming the men of today for the wrongs that have been written in history. Yes there are still changes to be made and it’s important to keep pushing, but the men we have today are a product of their upbringing and culture (perhaps an upbringing which said boys couldn’t play with dolls, or a culture which said men go to work and women stay at home). This is difficult stuff to change and we need to make sure, as we raise the next generation, that we bring them up with different values so that society moves closer and closer to a place of equality.

    Sorry for the rambly comment. I’m not sure I’ve explained myself very well but hey ho! Congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

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