I’ve been loving the latest wave of mum empowerment posts that went up this year. With the aim of taking back control and having a ‘you got this’ attitude. I like the idea of the no judgement and ‘each to their own’ mentality. But sometimes – ok quite often actually – I can’t help but pull on my judgey pants and become a top class critic. So sue me!
I can’t help but have an opinion when people say, do or put things out there for us all to see. No, I don’t know their life story and yes, I should just ignore it (if you dont have something good to say and all that!) But I refuse to believe that any of us really manage that all the time – we are all guilty of judging the hell out of everyone, especially those around us!
Here are the top things I’ve been judging people for lately.
• People who start a conversation with ‘no offense’. Actually Gillian, I do believe that offense is precisely what you intend to dish out in spades with the following chat and you care not a jot! Why do people (me included) say it! I will judge you and I will be inwardly rolling my eyes!
• The mum/dad on their phone. – my mum judges you all – me included! Softplay is the best example. I let my pair run free then toddle about behind the youngest and chase after toddler boy. You see for me softplay is something I take the kids to as an activity for us. I totally get that other parents don’t. They use it as a release. To let the kids burn off steam and to get a chance to relax knowing the kids are happily playing away. Ok.
But you know what? I still raise my eyes at the hoards of mums casually scrolling on their phones completely oblivious to what their kids are doing. I can’t help but release a few drops of judgement. ‘Why aren’t they playing with their kids?’ ‘Why the hell aren’t the even watching them!’ I just can’t help it.
• The two faced posters. This one is a personal bugbear and generally I shrug it off but seeing as I’m getting it all off my chest …There are many, many private groups on social media. You are probably a member of a few on Facebook. You will also most likely have a few people from these groups on your personal accounts. So you’re scrolling through your feed and you see that someone is showing off about how perfect their child/partner/job is. Then a few posts down on a different group the very same person is telling a different story? What is with that?! What goes on in private groups shall stay in private groups. But there it is again, that silent judgement creeping in, wondering wether their life is actually so shit that they just can’t cope with everyone knowing or wether really, they are just attention seeking arseholes who thrive from comments to their posts? Judgey McJudgerson, yes I am.
• The ‘Oh, I don’t mean to cause controversy’ post. Much like the ‘no offense’. Well in fact you do, love! Lots of topics at the moment are complete ‘click bait’. I get sucked in all the time because I have a big gob. The topics are so imflamatory that they can’t help but illicit provocative responses. If that’s what you’re after then fine – I am certainly not above a little controversy (bloody love it!) But I can’t stand the people who publish stuff then sit back to watch it burn then claim they didn’t want that. Really? I’m judging you all!
• The ‘I’m just such an honest person’. Cool, so am I. But claiming you are so honest that you just have to tell that person what you think – when in fact you could quite easily just let it go, but are deliberately causing a situation – well that doesn’t sit well with me. (I know right? The irony of me being offended by this when I’m writing this!) But some people actually thrive off the drama. I live as much of a drama free life as I can manage. Drama makes me anxious – even watching Twitter spats happening can make my heart pound. So I definitely never aim to start a conflict. But you get these people who claim that they are just being honest – no dude you’re being a dick.
• Vegetarians/vegans/clean eating/slimming world/cyclists/gym bunnies. Lets just throw every one of them into my delicious pot of judgement! I COMPLETELY stand by the each to their own mantra. I am happy doing what I do, and I respect your right to your lifestyle. Just dont throw it out there at EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY or you are looking to get judged! Well done Simon I’m so delighted you ran/cycled 15km this morning. I’m sure you feel super – even more so for sharing it with the world right? I mean you’d be totally raging if you’ forgotten to set your Strava and couldn’t upload your amazing feat. And thats fantastic Barbara that you have made a no fat, no taste buckwheat salad for your lunch (enjoy the enormous chip roll I saw you snaffling in the car before school pick up? The fact you are the same size you were last Christmas means we know you’re lying about the diet Babs!) And Kevin, I think it’s fantastic that you are against all forms of animal testing and are eating a raw vegan burger – well I don’t really. I couldn’t give a shit. Why can’t you just say you’re eating a burger? I don’t feel the need to categorically state that my meals are dairy loaded, gluten full and carniverous! Why the need to pronounce to the world every day that you’re vegan? Is it to remind yourself? So you remember why you are doing it and you can pretend that you don’t miss the taste of bacon? Who knows?! Woah the inner rager just escaped for a minute!
• The glammed up mums. I am in awe of you, seriously more jealous than judgemental. Where are you finding the time? Do you sacrifice time on the toilet or sleep to look that good at 8am? Don’t you have better things to be doing?! In all fairness in this case I judge myself more than you – where have I gone wrong!
• The whiney kid – before you say anything I have one so I am not unaware of why kids whine – mine don’t even need a reason! But I still find myself rolling my eyes when I hear a particularly awful beast, usually in the supermarket demanding something or other. I am judging the kid here not the parent (well most of the time). I judge them to be one of those really annoying kids. The ones that are constantly demanding and fussed over. In reality I know they probably won’t be – but tell me honestly that you’ve never secretly thought ‘Oh my days, if they were mine I would …(insert perfect parenting technique you would apply that would of course remedy said situation)’ Bet you have! Because we are all perfect aren’t we?! 😂
• The tantruming kid – see above!
• The ‘my life is fantastic and I love everything about it’ person – see the two faced poster.
• The people who post from the hospital – double judgement when it involves kids. Major judgement here as I can fathom no reason why on earth you would ‘check in’ at a hospital other than to garner massive volumes of symathy texts. ‘You ok hun?’ When people put up posts or even god forbid pictures of them in hospital with their kids it turns my stomach. Why on earth are you taking a single moment to do that? Daily I see people out there with babies in hospital and they are capitalising on it to post daily updates from intensive care. I’m sorry but when our son was ill I couldn’t have contemplated taking the time to do that. The first time either of us posted was a week after he had been in and we had been told he was out of danger. I feel like the reason people do it is for attention and if that is the only way to get attention then I find it sad. This also segues into …
• People who put up those shitty posts saying ‘certain people need to watch what they are saying or else’ veiled threats on facebook and Twitter. Gaining lots of ‘you alright babes?’ ‘yeah, I’ll DM you’ Fuck off Sandra we are all invested in the drama now, if you had wanted a private convo why didn’t you start as you meant to go on and just text your mate?! SO MUCH DRAMA. I have a strict unfollow policy for any of this bullshit.
So, Judge Rinder ain’t got nothing on me! But like most people I reign all that shit in everyday – because you wouldn’t have many friends left if you released that daily, would you? And also because half of the things I am so judgemental about I do myself! I am not above reproach and will silently berate myself for many things believe me! So don’t take it personally – I judge everyone equally! 😂
So what are you guilty of judging people for? Go on …tell me?
(If you secretly hate people who have rants on their blog about shit that you know they do themselves then raise a glass dude! No offense and all that …)