Quite often in life reality can be a bitter disapointment. Things that in our heads seem like a great idea turn out to be bad decisions! Here’s a run down of what I always expect to be great but when they happen they always turn into complete FML moments!
• Swimming. I always love the idea of taking the kids swimming. We even went to a waterpark at the weekend but we paid an extraordinary amount of money to get in then suffered the horror of all four of us squeezed into a changing room. Me trying to shoehorn my ass into a swimsuit that fitted last year (its clearly shrunk!) Then trying to stop toddler boy from peeking under the door to the people getting changed next to us. We are in the pool under an hour when the youngest is fed up and boy is hungry so we decide to go. Another horror session in the changing rooms afterwards this time sweating with the heat trying not to drop anything on the floor and trying to get skinny jeans back on my damp legs – i will never learn! Joyeous!
• Taking the kids out for dinner. Now sometimes we strike lucky and have a great time, the kids are generally pretty good when out for food. But mainly it involves you trying to order lunch as fast as possible as the kids cant wait for food. Then cutting it up like a madman as they dont understand the concept of hot food and the kids meals always comes scalding hot -yours will most likely be lukewarm! You then have to scoff your lunch when it finally arrives because once the kids have eaten they will be ready to go. Great fun!
• Baths. I always dream of soaking in a hot bath. Once I’m in its a different story though. I lie there realising Im going to have to shower my hair afterwards anyway. That its either too hot or not hot enough. My head is never comfy. I get thirsty. Then fed up after 5min. Just me?
• Holidays. Now don’t get me wrong. I have never had a bad holiday. Some have even been close to perfect. But sometimes the holiday snaps definitely capture the happiness and not the shouty parts. The parts where the kids dont want to sleep in a different bed. When you feel like you are just doing what you do at home but in a different location as you stand cleaning up the breakfast dishes. When you have to watch crappy tv at night because there is no wifi and you miss Netflix. When the kids are so annoying and tantrum about everything and anything and all you can think of is how muh it has cost you to argue in a different postcode. When you get home and have to unpack and do a million loads of washing and wish you had just stayed at home. But we will continue to do it again every year because we never learn!
• Shopping. I used to love shopping for new clothes. Now its just like torture. I never have very long. If I have the kids with me it is not even really worth trying! If hubby has the kids then I still feel like I have to rush. Nothing seems to be marketed at 30 something women. The departments go from slutty 16 year old crop tops to granny cardis. Wheres my section?! I need jeans that cover my wobbly bits, I need tops that dont show my belly button. I need stuff that doesng make me look like a mum but in reality needs to fit my day to day life! I can be a size 12 in one shop and a size 18 in another. I cant help but be drawn to the kidswear and end up buying the children even more clothes that they dont need while I have jeans that are ripping at the crotch and tops thag are older than my marriage. Go figure.
So what things can you think of that dont live up to the expectation? Reality really does suck sometimes!