Building Confidence

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When I was a teenager I had the usual anxieties about my appearance and abilities. But now in my thirties I’m starting to feel more settled in my skin. That’s not to say I don’t often get hangups about myself. I spend hours questioning my parenting abilities. Wether I’m a good wife and struggle a lot with my weight and horrible skin!  But latelt I can generally get my head back to a better place a bit quicker.

We all have our insecurities. Some stem from childhood, some are relatively new based on experiences. You may have always been told you weren’t the brightest spark, you might have been a spotty teen, you may look in the mirror and get anxious about your ability to do your job or feel down about your changing appearance (grey hairs, wrinkles or mum tum anyone?).

I hear everyone talking about being ‘stressed’. I say it myself sometimes. And I never mean to take away from people who are suffering from any form of mental illness when I use that word, but I do understand there are different levels of stress. I don’t believe anyone should be belittled for feeling like they are struggling and just because what you are feeling hasn’t been defined or even perhaps diagnosed, makes it no less real for the person suffering.

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One of the best things I have come across lately is Mindfulness. A word that kind of makes my eyes roll unintentionally but infact has all the basics of what my mums always taught me. In essence it’s all about paying attention to the present and your own ability to gain more happiness. Now as a disclaimer I have no training in anything, everything I say comes from my own research, perception and experiences and should be taken as guidance and with a generous pinch of salt!

I start by picking a regular time during the day or week where I can take a little time out. For me it’s usually a Sunday afternoon or early evening. I go for a shower and thats my time for me.

I close my eyes and think about what is happening all around.

I think about things happening in my life and try and work out what I have no control over. I try and let these things slide away and give myself a pass on the guilt or stress. Every week I can have the same things crop up and they won’t go away. But just thinking it through, bringing it up and not ignoring it can make me feel better.

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I like making lists, so I try and work through a mental to do list. (If it becomes too much or I have so much on my list that I am becoming stressed then I stop and bin it!  It’s just good thinking through things that need done and   other things that would be nice to manage. Working out what would happen if I don’t achieve my list helps me realise that it’s ok to not always get there.

I look in the mirror and judge everything. This obviously won’t be for everyone! But for me I enjoy a good nitpicking session. I work out if there’s anything I can work on – Fat arms…yes. Wrinkly!  I try and find something positive and find things I can accentuate.

Meditation is supposed to be incredibly good for you and there are loads of websites out there showing you how to start. For me it’s a no go, I can’t sit still! That’s just me and its not going to change. But I do practice the deep breathing excercises I’ve practiced and it does calm me. Breathing in for a count of 8 then out for a count of 8.

Finally I do a thankful and hopeful shoutout. I look at what and who I have in my life and what I have or could have ahead of me. It’s so easy to get caught up day to day in the worst things and by looking at the best bits it can give you the boost you need.

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I hope you enjoyed reading and if you are at all interested then you should definitely check out Mindfulness. There are a lot of really great websites out there offering tips on stress management and for a busy working mum I know I need all the help I can get sometimes!

There’s is no shame in admitting you need help – we are not superheroes. And you don’t have to wait until you are at breaking point before starting to help yourself.

As always I love hearing from you so please let me know what you think and any stategies you use!

Pam xxx


Lucy At Home




  1. I’ve heard so much about mindfulness but really wasn’t sure what it was about – like you it made my eyes roll ha! But I like this no-nonsense description of what it entails. I don’t think I could do the meditation part of it either but the taking stock of what we have/can be thankful for etc is a good way to look at it xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think planning and lists are essential! Things to do, but also things to be grateful for, especially on the days when it seems everything is going wrong

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I absolutely love mindfulness and would recommend it to anyone, especially if they are struggling with stress. great post! #stayclassymama #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is an interesting one for me. I’m already quite introspective and judgemental of myself. I am my worst critic. So when mindfulness came along I jumped on the bandwagon. Big mistake for me. I ramped up the blame where it wasn’t due and thought it was all my fault for failing to change things. I internalised even more because “I was failing”. Anyway, long story short, I tried to leave this world. The things I had assigned as my fault could all be fixed by me removing my burden from the world.
    I love your post but I just wanted to add a pinch of salt. Please keep talking to others, a professional if necessary, share the aims and worries because someone might just point out that actually something is going horribly wrong and it’s not your fault and you need help to stop the bad things happening to you because they are wrong.
    Much love from one now much more present and rooted in life. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love lists! I keep reading about mindfulness and I think I might sometimes be doing it without making a special effort. I too love a bit of time alone in the bath or shower, I don’t get a lot of time alone, there is always someone beside me and although that may seem nice for some, I just feel absolutely drained.

    Thank you for joining in with #StayClassyMama, I hope you can join next time!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. well i LOVE making lists …and sublists of lists. Also in my efforts to realise my acheivements I postumously add things to my list that weren’t on the original list if I’ve done them instead of 9or as well as ) something on their – I then take great pleasure in immediately ticking it off!!
    todays list included
    1.Go and read some other peoples blogs
    2. join up with some linkys

    So I’m doing quite well!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I have heard so much great stuff about mindfulness, my gp has actually recommended I try it to manage my anxiety and depression. Glad to hear it works well for you lovely xx #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

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