Parenting Fails No.289

20170327_110007In a world where we can find out the weather forcast for the week ahead, cure horrible diseases and ask a computer the answer to any question that pops up into our heads,  how can parents everywhere be stumped by the mysteries of children on a daily basis?

Questions I have had from Toddler Boy this week…

• Why can’t I have chocolate for breakfast? After Easter it’s actually pretty hard to justify this one. One day it’s OK to be ravaging a Lindt bunny at 8am; the next day your being told that even coco pops should be saved for the weekend. It’s a cruel life lesson.2017-04-27 09.01.26.jpg

• Why can’t I go outside with no trousers on? Explaining to a small boy who thinks his willy is the best invention on the planet why everyone else doesn’t want or need to see it is tough. He wants to pull his trousers down everywhere and ‘helicopter’ to show off his grandest possession. They grow out of this right?!

• Why can’t I get a dragon to blow on our dinner to warm it up? Don’t think I even came up with an answer to this one.

• Why won’t our cat talk to me? After a few years of watching kids tv shows it’s no wonder that they get confused! Talking animals, magic fairies and superheroes make it hard to explain the boring world we live in!

•  Can we swap the baby for a rabbit because they are more fun because they poop chocolate eggs?…..just no. Sod off Easter and all your confusion!

2017-04-27 09.01.09

FML moments from the last few weeks

• Discovering Toddler Boy climbing into the bath to have a pee when he was going to the toilet because his daddy had said it was ok to pee in the bath! Ffs daddy he doean’t distinguish it being ok when he was actually in the bath and needed to pee to save getting out you said it was ok he now thinks its fine to hose all over the tub!

• Baby Girl screaming blue murder for a solid four hours the night I had been out with a few other mums and had a lovely few glasses of vino. Husband deciding after 5 min that only mummy could sort it so having to pace around the livingroom rocking a teething baby until my hangover kicked in at 3am! Only bonus to this was no hangover next day only raging tiredness.20170407_225105

– Husband having the cold at the same time as me, no sympathy or offers to make dinner. Him managing to spend 3 days at home doing no housework I’m actually still wondering what the heck he did all day!

– Toddler boy managing to work the hoover so he tells me that he’s cleaned the mess up…what this meant was that he had hoovered up everything in sight! Including half his lego, a toy cow, 3 pairs of socks and all my jewellery I’d stored in the hall telephone table. Emptying out a hoover To retrieve said items was grim!2017-04-27 09.01.59.jpg

– After witnessing his first lamb being born a few weeks back, Toddler Boy has been a bit obsessed with babies. He kept asking me if i had a baby coming out! Him saying this to me is fine. Him saying this to a porty gentleman in Morrisons is not.

So what gems have your littlies had for you this week? One thing is for sure life is never boring right now!

Pam xxx


  1. I’ve used your post as my #blogcrush on this weeks link up party! I couldn’t find if you had twitter to tweet you too! I loved this post, really made me smile and snort into my tea. Just what I needed today! Thanks for the great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahahaha, super post. Can relate to all the madness… so nice that we blog about it so it’s all there when we want to laugh about it in the future.
    Swap baby for rabbit because they poop chocolate eggs – absolutely brilliant:)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kids are irrational and actually just insane I think!
    And only a mom can look at the silver lining of no hangover after having to rock a screaming child to sleep while your husband snores in lalaland. You’re a good wife!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such a funny post. I’m still laughing at the ‘cleaned up my mess’ it sounds so so familiar!!!!! We get lots crazy conversations in my household too. Recent conversations involved my son giving me a big smack on the lips and asking me if it wasn’t the best kiss i ever had and also telling me he would never get married because he didn’t want to hug and kiss girls all the time (he is 4) 🙂 Thank you for sharing with #StayClassyMama

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hahaha!They really do come out with some right little pearlers don’t they!When I was pregnant my 3 year old kept coming up to anyone who was a bit on the large side and asking them if they had a baby in their tummy embarrassing!xx #BlogCrush

    Liked by 1 person

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