Things I’ve failed at this week…


I’ve now been awake for three days.  In all honesty I’ve probably managed more sleep than I think, but with two kids full of the cold and up all night it certainly feels like none.  I also start nightshift tonight so instead of counting down to bedtime I am aware I have another 22 hours before I will rest my head.  So in my sleep deprived state I am recalling the mistakes I’ve made as a parent this week.

Number 1 – Believing that some bloody elves sent from Santa to watch over him would help my toddler behave better.  Eh naw!  That has been an epic fail, ending in him trying to climb up the christmas tree to reach them. We didn’t follow the naughty elf thing that everyone is doing, because the last thing we need is to give the boy extra ideas!  I can’t imagine the pressure to come up with exciting escapades for them to do at night. So  you have trashed your own house a little to look like little elfy has had a snowball fight? Cute but to then have to tidy it up again in the morning when you already have zero extra time to do anything?! Not for me.  But I am enjoying seeing some peoples efforts! Our elves just move around the room at night-and when we forget to move them we are lucky the kids are young enough to be fobbed off by crap excuses.

Number 2 – Telling my two and half year old that he would have to sleep in the garage if he didn’t go back to sleep immediately.  Not my finest parenting moment I agree.  Hubster was giggling away when I got back into bed after that particular screaming match at 3am.  In my defense I was getting up in 2 hours for work and hadn’t slept yet and he kept wanting to play, I lost it! In my head I know all the appropriate responses but in a fuggled state what come sout of my mouth is not parenting 101.

Number 3 – Deciding to lob some saucy Durex products into my trolley during the weekly food shop.  This would have been fine had the Scouts not chosen this day to do their charity pack your bags thing. By the time I realsied what was happening it was too late.  A ten year old boy was holding aloft a pack of ribbed condoms and asking his Scout leader if they should go in the edible food bag or not! Mortified.

Number 4 – Thinking that I would relish going back to work.  In a way I have enjoyed being back, I do like my job and the fact I can drink hot tea is a bonus.  But I seriously thought I would have no trouble fitting everything in.  I was wrong.  On my days off I have to fit in all the crappy housework that I used to do everyday.  As well as being super organised, to have clean clothes out for the kids, dinner sorted for the whole week (if not then we end up with nughts like last night where hubster presents me with a gin and bag of crisps as his contribution to ‘sorting dinner’), to keep on top of what food we have in because if I’m out on 12hour dayshifts I can’t just nip into Tesco for bits and bobs like I used to if we run out of milk.  Now, I am an organised individual but I can see this is quickly get out of hand unless I get on top of it.

Number 5 – Hearing myself say ‘in a minute’ or ‘after I’ve done ..(insert washing/ironing/cooking/cleaning/peeing/eating) .  I am feeling awful about the lack of time I have had to just sit with the kids this week.  I have told my son ‘in a minute’ once too often this week and to see his wee face when all he wants is for me to sit and play.. Well I’m trying to put aside stuff that can wait so I don’t have to see that look too often.

So here I am on a damp Thursday morning, playing dinosuars vs tractors with my son, simulaniously wiping the babys nose, folding clothes, replying to emails and drinking lukewarm tea.  Living the dream? Not this week.

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