If I had the chance to go back and have a chat with the pre baby me… I’m not sure I would. There are a million things I could tell her. To enjoy every single morning that you can just go to the toilet without having to check that everyone else has already been and doesn’t need you for anything, so you can pee in peace. To go out randomly at night, to the cinema, for dinner, hell even for a walk around the block just because you can. To eat what you want, when you want, because you don’t have to make sure everyone else is fed first, because baby hunger rage is loud! And because you don’t have a toddler that watches your every move and can smell chcolate from behind a closed door, To wear sexy, beautiful underwear and tight clothes because you look great and don’t have half the hold ups about your body that will come after you’ve given birth to two babies.
You see if I were to have said any of this to pre-baby me, she would have just shook her head and laughed, we can never see what we have in front of us. I see it today when I tell friends on their first baby what they should be doing! Christ I can hear how patronising I sound! Oh you’re tired are you? You should try having two! Oh shes keeping you on your toes is she? Just you wait until shes walking! I get it too, mums of older kids laugh at me when I complain about my mental toddler boy – just you wait, they say, it doesn’t get easier any time soon! Oh he’s cute playing with his sister is he? Just wait until they hate each other and are fighting all the time. Why do we do this to each other!? It’s not like I’m not supportive of my fellow mums, it’s certainly not a competition to see who has it the hardest. So why do we do it? I can only see it as trying to let them know that they are not alone, that we have all been there and are still going through it, that we are there for them with an open ear and a moan to let them know its not so bad. Yes there are definitely mums out there that seem to want to burst your balloon! But generally I recon most are just like you and me – trying out our hardest to survive week to week. I’m in awe of so many of my mum friends who seem to be making it work – not because they have their shit together and are supermums, that’s not the same thing. Being able to do everything is not what I aspire to, but being able to keep a sense of humour and keep going through the crap times is what I see as success!
This weeks big bake was a chocolate fudge cake with strawberry frosting, a purple chocolate drizzle and gold sprayed meringues and sweets! My gorgeous goddaughter has turned 9 amd I just can’t believe it, she is the sweetest little girl I know and so beautiful I hope she loves her grown up birthday cake! She was my first introduction to the world of babies, she is my eldest cousins first born and me and my cousin are pretty close as neither of us has a sister so we are there for each other. When my God Daughter was born my eyes were truly opened, I love her like my own and she has a very special place in my heart. But nine years ago I was only 23 – I really didn’t get it! I took my cousin out for a drinks a few weeks after she had the baby and thought I was the best person ever! Now I know I should have offered to come by and watch the baby in the morning while she showered or just sat and had tea and toast! I had no commitments and a lot of time on my hands, I truley wish I could go back to that time. Nowadays with two children of my own it’s difficult to offer much help to new mum friends as they certainly don’t want a tearaway toddler around their gorgeous newborns! Like so many things in life, hindsight is a magical thing!