Threats and Promises.

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Sitting in the doctors surgery this morning, I watched as an elderly woman rolled her eyes at another lady in the waiting room while my son pulled out every toy in the toy box.  Just a minute before I had just been telling him to play nicely or else he couldn’t play with the toys.  I have got used to peoples looks when reprimanding my children and always wonder if they are thinking I’m too strict or too soft.  Why do I care?  I can’t help it, you want to be seen as a ‘good mum’, whatever that is?!

I used to look at people (mums) crouching down to little boys or girls and whispering in an angry voice; that they better behave or else…, or hearing them say ‘if you are a good boy then we can buy you…’  threats of naughty steps, no treats or telling their dad, promises of chocolate and new toys.  I was, if I’m honest, disgusted.  Why would you threaten your child like that? Why would you give in to their terrible behaviour? Simple answer, for an easy life!  I catch myself a million times a day telling my son that if he does eat his dinner he will get no pudding and go straight to bed (clearly a PG account of what I sometimes shout), or if he behaves badly that I will phone the police to take him away- this backfired spectacularly last night after dinner when he went and brought me my phone and said he wanted to see the nee naw!  He cares not a jot!  We are all guilty of it, giving in to avoid a scene or another meltdown.  Life’s just too short. It doesn’t make you a bad parent, it doesn’t mean your child is going to become a delinquent.  It does mean people will judge you. We cant help ourselves, we judge everyone.  When your child is having a good day and you see someone else’s being a gremlin we are all guilty of feeling relived-because its too easy in that moment to forget the times you yourself screamed ‘just have the sodding chocolate then’ or my personal fave from last week ‘will you just eat the f@ck!ing sandwich!’  They drive you to the edge of despair.  So if you ever catch me smirking when someone is reprimanding their little one please don’t be offended I am most likely just being thankful it’s not me this time!

I can ususally judge a days success or failure by the volume of baking I have done!  A good day means I will maybe only make some scones or a banana bread.  A bad day results in lots of chocolate!  Today is an exception because I wasn’t baking for myself, I finished off a top notch chocolate fudge cake topped with sweeties (and yes that is a Tunnocks Teacake on top!), and made an amazing Chocolate and Raspberry Brownie all for a Macmillan Coffee Morning tomorrow.  Fraser enjoyed licking the whisk after I made the chocolate buttercream and also snaffled a lot of sweets, this resulted in a full blown sugar rush which then resulted in him falling asleep at five past twelve…and is still sleeping! Score! Quiet afternoon for us here, will resist the temptation to eat that cake-might just make another one!!

Pam xx

 

 

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